It's getting real now....
I've packed dozens of boxes and realised that I've only got a few nights left in my lovely home, only a few more meals to cook in my beautiful kitchen, only a few more loads of washing to do in my brand new laundry etc, etc, etc..... Yes, I am a tad attached to my house.
On Friday evening I went out with my workmates for an amazing Asian banquet for Chinese New Year. A farewell for me was also included at the end, they wished me all the best and I came home with a lovely new watch. As I hugged and kissed the girls in the carpark I realised that this was now a "Goodbye".
Then today we met some of our nearest and dearest down at my most favourite place in the world (the beachfront) for a farewell.
THAT made it real.
I came home and was a bit grumpy, irritable and snappy. Hubby told me to stop packing boxes and give him a cuddle (although I didn't want to).
I broke down sobbing like a big sook.
"I'm scared and I'm sad. And I'm sad and I'm scared"
Lots of tears and sobs and snot (sorry, but this is one of those raw posts)
He hugged me and just let me cry. I got it all off my chest, to the point where my head aches from crying so much - I think every now and then a jolly good cry is necessary don't you?
One thing that keeps ringing in my ear;
A very special friend of mine hugged me as we left this afternoon and told me how jealous she is. I said "really?????? Why?"
She said that there have been many opportunities for her and her hubby to do what we are doing - pack up, move out and have an adventure - but fear has held her back and here I am doing what she really wishes she could do.
I totally have to remember this.
I don't want to let fear of the unknown stop or hinder me. I have a BIG God and He tells me to "fear not".
Deuteronomy 31:8 "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD is the one who goes before you. He will be with you, He will neither fail you nor forsake you."
I'm still not yet doing a happy dance and my heart is still kind of heavy, but the sadness is fading and the anticipation of what is to come is very slowly dawning...
xx
As I read this I was thinking of the verse in Joshua 1 v9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" and then I got to the end and saw almost the same thing from Deuteronomy.........think God wants to tell you something!
ReplyDeleteIt is sad moving on but there is an old Michael W Smith song which gave me comfort when we moved "A friends a friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbPKaIozS-c (not sure if the link works if not google "micheal W smith Friends)
Will be praying peace for you, can't wait to hear your new adventures xxx
Oh I wish you all the very best ....seize the adventure and ride the ride of the unknown because you are right you have God taking care of things. x
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is Carp diem, "seize the day!" Just imagine if I had not conquered my fears like yours, I would never have moved form the UK and NEVER would have met you, and for that I would be poorer. Life is a journey of many paths and opportunities some are for the moment some for a lifetime but either way they shape you and make you richer for having taken that path. No matter what happens friends will always be with you and possibly camping in your back yard!!!! All the best my darling, Take care and remember to have fun:) Jules xx
ReplyDeleteFear of the unknown is always a scary thing but stepping out and just doing it can lead to wonderful things. There was a point in time where I never thought I would ever leave my roots but look at where I am now....our lives have been blessed beyond our wildest dreams and we are surrounded by THE MOST amazing people whom we would never have crossed paths with had we let that fear hold us back.
ReplyDeleteEmbrace the adventure and be open to all the blessings that are coming your way :)
Love you lady!!!
Xx