Identity crisis

Ever had those times when your whole identity is kind of threatened?  Where you just don't feel like all the hats you're supposed to wear are fitting properly?  Who am I and what am I doing on this ride anyway....?

That was me last week.
I felt like I was doing a totally rubbish job homeschooling my kids ~ aaaaargh, send them back to school.
My house was trashed and I really couldn't be bothered doing anything about it.
I hadn't menu planned for a week or four and had been chucking together any old meal, nothing particularly nutritious either. (Oh, and due to this fact add in that I'm feeling kinda chunky......)
The garden is looking very sad because it's still too flipping hot and dry.
And to top it all off, I wasn't in the mood for being 'wife of the year"
Actually I was a bit of a cow.
Needless to say, by last Thursday night I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom amongst a mountain of folding in tears, wondering where I'd gone wrong.

Usually I pride myself on being quite organised, a capable cook, good at budgeting, green thumb, level headed etc, etc, etc.  But the attributes I'd identified myself with were all in jeopardy.....
What on earth am I good for if I'm not being all these things?

God reminded me of a revelation I'd had a few years ago and I'm so very glad.

Do you remember The Lion King?
Think to the part where Simba is summoned by Mufasa's ghost in the clouds - (oh and try to imagine the deep voice of James Earl Jones as Mufasa...!)
"Simba - you have forgotten me"
"no, I could never"
"You have forgotten who I am and therefore you have forgotten who you are - You are my son, and the one true King of Pride Rock"

Only my revelation went something like this,
"Linda - you have forgotten me"
"Aaah, excuse me? I'm a bit busy trying to work out who I am just now, I'll be with you in a sec God"
"You have forgotten who I am Linda, and therefore you have forgotten who you are - I am your King, you are my child, the apple of My eye, your identity is in Me and what I've done for you, not in whatever you are doing.  Remember Me and remember who you are......."

What a relief. What joy that I don't need to prove anything - to myself or to others.
My worth is not in what I can do well or what I've managed to stuff up, my worth is in HIM.  Because HE thinks I'm worthy.....

In the movie Mufasa's ghost fades away saying "remember who you are, remember who you are.........."
So now that's what I am doing - remembering.